Love Letter If You Keep Screwing Up
Dear Friend,
We can get so down on ourselves when we feel like we are not reaching our full potential.
Sadly, after we fall off track more than once, we start to chastise ourselves, thinking we are not committed enough, or strong enough, or smart enough to achieve the very things that we set out to do.
And I’d love for you to kindly knock that s*** off — because it’s not kind, and it’s not going to help you get where you want to go.
Instead, I encourage you to celebrate two very commendable things about yourself, that you’ve probably overlooked.
The first is that you have a clear goal. (Let’s acknowledge this is different from a wish, which is vaguely ‘hoped’ for, yes?) You didn’t deny your desire, and you’re willing to put in the work to accomplish your objective.
Whether you decided that you’re going to run your own business, or improve your health, or learn a new skill, you’ve got a metaphorical destination in mind. And one or more strong reasons that compel you to take action.
This stands in stark contrast to many people, who don’t have a dream. Maybe they are too bogged down in the minutiae of everyday life admin to aim their sights higher, or maybe they’re stuck in survival mode up against more difficult circumstances.
Some of them may have even entertained a dream for a minute, until their fear of failure ate their ambition.
But not you, friend.
You chose and named your target. That it and of itself is an act of bravery. Well done!
This brings us to point number two.
The only reason that you’ve been able to fall off track multiple times is because you’ve already taken some steps forward… fallen off .. and gotten yourself back on track, again and again.
Since this love letter called to you , I’m guessing that your thoughts about your scenario typically sound something like this:
- Argh, I keep getting tripped up! I’m such a loser.
- What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just stick to my plan?
- X has it harder and did it better than me. Wow, I suck.
- My inability to act consistently already proves I’m a failure.
- I’m never going to get there at this rate. I should just quit now.
Do you want to know what all of these thoughts have in common?
They’re demotivating. They steal your confidence and tank any previous momentum you’ve built, as you generously douse yourself in guilt and shame.
These thoughts may not be what initially derails you, but they keep you on the bench, and out of the game.
Believing in their validity makes mustering the courage and willpower to pursue your dream even harder.
Now, let’s revisit your scenario again, with a different, self-affirming conclusion.
The only reason that you’ve been able to fall off track multiple times is because you’ve already taken some steps forward… fallen off .. and gotten yourself back on track, again and again.
Hellooooo, doesn’t this make you a fabulous example of persistence and resilience?
(Yep, it sure does, amigo!)
It’s like the Japanese proverb ‘Fall seven, stand up eight.’ After we learn to stand up on our own two legs, we are meant to get back up any time we get knocked over. Which is exactly what you’ve done until you started to doubt yourself.
Stand up!
Because this all-important habit will carry you to your milestone’s finish line, if you quit beating yourself down…
Sure, you will find plenty of places for improvement, during your journey. I’m not advising you continuously try the same tactic if it’s clearly not working. Experiment and apply the feedback you receive to run further and faster.
But the overall strategy remains the same: keep betting on yourself and moving forward, you tenacious bad ass.
I see you, and I applaud you for your commitment to growth and progress, in all amounts, over any timeframe.
Now, be nice to yourself so that you can maintain the stamina to complete your mission. You’ve got this!
And let me know what your goal is in the comments — then return, when you’ve brought it to life.
Here’s to your massive success!
Sharing infinite love,
Ali
